Positivity is contagious, but negativity is far more pervasive. You would not have heard of a healthy apple healing a rotten bunch, but you would have heard of a rotten apple spoiling a healthy bunch. I believe the notion of avoiding bad company is more reinforced than that of keeping good company for a reason.
We are all aware of them – the glum gums – those impassioned to find the tiniest reason to denounce hysterically. Give them a bright sunny day, and they’ll be the first one to spot a dark cloud. Give them a problem set to solve, and they’ll give you many more problems in return. I’ve encountered a few of them and they have been as useful to me as my tail bone.
If they are bright enough to spot problems then they should be bright enough to know how to remedy them. Right? Sadly, that is not on their list of concerns.
When comments such as “Oh that looks terrible” or “You’re doing it all wrong” are made, it instills a sense of insult, annoyance and defensiveness. When someone tells me my handwriting is bad, I look for reasons to justify why it is bad. This doesn’t inspire the ‘victim’ to get into the mindset of resolving the problem. Even the most crudest of solutions can trigger activity towards the right direction. At the very least, it gives a start to a possible finish. If someone tells me ‘how’ I could improve my handwriting, I would most certainly consider what he or she is saying.
It’s a sad habit of ours – pointing fingers. We have nothing to lose whilst doing so. But it has a profound impact on whom you’re pointing them at. That is why, if you find something wrong, stop for a moment. And I mean it – stop for a second to think. If you really want to correct what’s wrong, then pointing it out solves the least important part of it. Put on the reasoning cap and find a remedy. Ask yourself “What could be improved?” or “How could it be done better?” Once you have a rough idea on what can be done, you may share it with the person of your concern. This exercise simply requires a penny’s worth of effort but it will go a long long way in benefiting both parties.
Complaining or bickering like teenagers estranged from wifi will neither satiate the insatiable nor create an environment conducive to actually solving the problem. So stop fault finding and find the remedy if you seriously want to make a difference.